Banana Man's Humor Vault - 1000's of Jokes

The Humor Vault - 1000s of Hilarious Jokes

Laugh along with dumb blonde jokes, clever bartenders, sick doctors, and lawyer bashing. Check out golfing, religion, & relationship jokes, office humor, and much more!

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Joke of the Week

The Blonde Diet

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"

The blonde nodded, "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."

"From hunger, you mean?" asked the doctor.

"No, from skipping."

Exercise Pointers

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again...

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at 50,000 per month.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 40,000 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country running, start with a small country.

Patient: It isn't possible that I'm as overweight as you say I am.

Doctor: Maybe you would prefer to look at it in a different way. According to this chart, you're about 10 inches too short.

God Bless America