|
|
|
 |
Welcome to Banana Man's Humor Vault. When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his home - a beautiful 20-room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven. One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred-acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces." "Were you a Pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates. "No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic." Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter. Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?" St. Peter replied, "Ah, but the Titanic only crashed once." A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting: "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO..." She sort of forgets where she is, so even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the pilot comes out and shouts, "BE SILENT!" There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the blonde and the angry pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting: "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE..." This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla's enclosure, the wind gusted and he got some grit in his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless. When the guy came to his senses, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he explained what had happened. The zookeeper nodded and explained that in gorilla language, pulling down your eyelid means: "*@#$! You." The explanation didn't make the gorilla's victim feel any better and he vowed revenge. The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, into which he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn. Knowing that the big apes were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, and looked at the hat, and put it on. Next he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same. Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it neatly in two. The gorilla looked at the knife in his cage, looked at his own crotch, and pulled down his eyelid... An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked. "Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa," replied the old lady. "You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested. "Sectional schmectional," she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room."
| January
'00 | February '00 | March
'00 | April '00 | May
'00 | June '00 | July
'00 |
|
|||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
 |
||||
|
|
|
for the hilarious Joke of the Week. Plus, you can easily search the internet directly from this fun starting point! Clicks and search boxes to 25+ search
engines |
|
|||
For more great jokes and humor, please be sure to visit:
 Manly Jokes for Manly Men |
Unbelievable Martha Stewart parody |
 Occupational Hazards - Job Jokes |
